At some stage in his career, almost every programmer would have tittered these words:
		"My dear, I must get a thinner pencil. I can't manage this one a bit; it writes all manner of things I don't intend."
		Of course, sooner or later, everyone is introduced to the creepy "program bug":
		"What kind of insect?" Alice inquired. What she really wanted to know was whether it could sting or not.
		When the program is successful (that is, compiled for the first time without errors), the programmer exclaims triumphantly:
		"Why they're nothing but a pack of cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of them."
		ASSEMBLER specialists might be horrified to learn that: "Language is worth a thousand pounds a word." However, they would probably answer affirmatively to
		Alice's question:
		"Must a name mean something?"
		Many programmers have a "pet" routine which is dear to their little hearts and represents .some original thinking and extra effort. The routine might do no more than convert from packed decimal to Roman numerals, but the routine is inevitably (and proudly) claimed:
		"It's my own invention."
		When confronted with an impossible problem or the thankless job of maintaining someone else's program, the clever programmer should remark:
		it's all in some language I don't know."
		
		A Sales Demonstration
		The friendly neighborhood computer salesman normally prepares his product demonstration with tender loving carp, hoping to sell as much machinery as he can. Usually when the demo goes off surprisingly well, the would-be buyer can be stopped by a totally unrelated observation such as:
		"And if you take one from three hundred and sixty-five, what remains?"
		"Three hundred and sixty-four, of course."
		Humpty Dunipty looked doubtful. "I'd rather see that done on paper."
		Employment in Edp
		We have all, no doubt, dreamed of working in the exciting, dynamic field of computing—where, with a bit of hard work, one rapidly attains success and status. However, not all edp jobs lead to rosy futures. Frequent-1y, programmers seeking advancement are misled by false claims and empty promises. The Cheshire Cat warns the job-seeker that advancement:
		depends on where you are and where you want to get."
		Gettimq the right job is all-important, but that requires the applicant to overcome the familiar obstacles of psychological testing and tiring interviews:
		"Never imagine yourself nol to he otherwise than what	
it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise."
"I think I should understand that better," Alice said very politely, "if I had it written down; but I can't quite follow it as you say it."
"Can you do Addition? What's one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one?"
"Do you know Languages? What's the French for Fiddle-dc-dee?"
After the interview, the applicant begins the long wait. Sometimes the waiting game is ended by a favorable reply which usually goes something like this:
"Of course, I'll take ''ou with pleasure! Twopence a week and jam every other day."
Documentation
The word "system" must be one of the most overworked words in the edp vocabulary. One hears of the terms: operating system, accounting system, control system, data collection system, message-switching system,
compiling system, etc., etc	
"That's a great deal to make one word mean."
"When I make a word to do a lot of work like that," said Humpty Dumpty, "I always pay it extra."
Furthermore, most technical writers must have had Humpty Dumpty in mind when they invented all their "buzzwords":
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less."
A note to the authors of dull, unillustrated texts on programming:
and what is the use of a book," thought Alice, "without picture or conversations?"
A major portion of the edp consultants would be out of work if their clients paid more heed to the Eaglet's criticism:
"Speak english! I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and what's more, I don't believe you do either."
In Conclusion
To those outside the industry, edp people may appear madder than the March Hare (especially in March), nonsensical as the Jabberwocky, or as demanding as the Red Queen:
"1 always thought they were fabulous monsters," said the Unicorn.
The world of computing is often more fascinating than Wonderland, but it must be vague and confusing to the uninitiated:
oh dear, how puzzling it all is!"
When offered an opportunity to enter data processing themselves, they should wisely agree with Alice: "But I don't want to go among mad people."